Party Pooper

I don't want to sound sorry for myself but I just had a pretty depressing birthday weekend. I don't use that word lightly. I'm not going to go into any of the particulars of what happened (nothing all that bad at all) but it was just a weekend I wanted to end as soon as possible. Everyone I had any contact with just seemed to make it worse and the best part was probably the few hours I had by myself during the day on Saturday. All the happy birthday wishes on facebook were very nice too, I must admit.

A birthday can be such a great, fun time but days like that have the power to make a person feel incredible miserable. There is an expectation that something good will happen. In reality it's just a day like any other. When the expected something doesn't materialise we just feel as though we have been deprived of something we were due. Your birthday also gets you thinking about past birthdays, your age, your life, your future and so on and so forth.

The only other really depressing birthday I can remember was my 19th. It was near the end of a long, unfruitful year at University in London. I was having a bit of a tough time in life with University not working out as I had envisaged but I was too stubborn to admit defeat and stayed there for the summer making things progressively worse. I can't remember in detail what happened to made it so bad but there was a festival in Finsbury Park and a friend of a friend throwing her drink in my face on account of her being a nutter. It just really left me having to face up to the fact that all wasn't what it should have been in my life and I went back to Ireland to start picking up the pieces soon after.

A lot of the same thoughts were going through my mind yesterday as I sat around with Ji doing absolutely nothing, which always annoys me on it's own anyway. I'm just not good at being inactive. Even if I'm not doing anything worthwhile, I at least like to be doing something. Without doubt a large part of my birthday malaise is down to the fact that I'm still stuck in a splint and can't really get around without crutches. Nonetheless, it seemed that everyone I came across did their little part to make me feel even worse. It had me questioning the people I spend my time with, what I'm doing with my life and what I should be doing. It might sound cocky but there's no doubt in my mind that I'm too good a teacher to be doing the job I'm doing. I just don't see how I can get out of it anytime soon.

Anyway I'm going to stop with the whining. Sorry. I didn't see the entire World Cup final because I watched the British Grand Prix before going to sleep and just couldn't wake up again. What I did see was actually a pretty fascinating game, although I've heard a lot of people complaining about the quality or lack thereof. Of course I'm glad Spain won it, even though teams like Argentina and Germany provided more entertainment. They look so complete even without Torres showing his true ability. I'm already turning my attention to the qualifying campaign for the 2012 European Championship in Poland and the Ukraine. Ireland have been drawn with Russia, Slovakia, Andorra, Macedonia and Armenia. It doesn't look too bad on paper but Russia are always strong, Slovakia were at the World Cup (where they beat Italy) and Macedonia are one of those annoying tricky sides that we have faltered against before. Our campaign kicks off on September 3rd away to Armenia before the visit of Andorra to Ireland 4 days later. Not long from now at all! How the football bandwagon keeps on rolling... Anything less than six points from those and it'll be even more of an uphill struggle...

The British Grand Prix yesterday was exhilarating! I'm uneasy with the habit of re-jigging the rules every season to level the playing field but if this is the result, then it's hard to be against it. Brilliant drama with Webber and Vettel, amazing races from the British McLaren drivers, Alonso's "don't talk to me" message to the pit crew. Wonderful. I'll be fulfilling a lifetime ambition by attending a Grand Prix in October (Korea's first) so I'm glad the season is as tight as it is. We're also hoping to go watch some live women's tennis in September. I'll have my summer fun after the summer is done.